Disclaimer: The author does not support the idea of pushing someone away, nor was this piece created to be followed step-by-step. Please reach out if you do need help; there is no reward for pushing others away.
Within the article, I will be teaching you how to push someone away successfully and how to properly let go of them. These actions will come with their own consequences depending on the situation, so tread carefully. Good luck!
Step 1). Burn. Stab. Hurt. Guilt-trip
The first step in this beautiful game is to make the other person hurt. You must make them hurt. Project your sadness—your deep-rooted anger—onto the most important person you have and hurt them. Take your words and perfect them—sharpen your knives to stab them over and over again until the words are blunt and lose their effect. Prepare for the sting of the same phrases pushed back onto you, and stand as they lash out. Push at the blaring red button, the unpushable buttons, and watch as your world explodes.
Not a single person would stay after this step. You need to push them away. It is one of the most important and spontaneous steps in this art; perfecting it is the key to success. Take all you know—all their insecurities and hurts—and throw it all up. Bask in the feeling of success and do not falter when they break. Do not think about the aftermath. Do not think about the past. Do not think. There is no room for sympathy.
Step 2) Leave. Disappear. Fade. Go.
The next step is to cut them off. Go slowly, and leave nothing behind. They will caress the wounds you caused in Step 1 and will not chase you. Do not let them chase you. To push someone away is to neglect your needs, but you must remember, they would be better off without you. This is for their sake—not yours. You must stay strong.
So leave slowly—pack up all signs of you one by one when their back is turned—like a sick game of What time is it, Mr. Wolf? Pack it all into a dull matte suitcase, board at the nearest train, and leave. Force a crack in the earth; tear the bridge apart. You need not look behind. To look behind is to fail. Keep your eyes on the future. Forget the past.
Step 3) Hold. Forget. Breathe. Lie.
You will now spend your free time wallowing over regrets and staying in a state of ‘missing,’ but you cannot put up the missing posters. Do not even try to put them up, burn them. You need to forget (and forget and forget), even if it means drunk nights on the streets or a new face to hold. You must breathe it out while you long for them. Learn to fill the hole they resided in with something else. Learn to relearn.
Take your time. This step is hard; it’s evil and cruel and lonely. So take your time. Unpack all of you and tuck your sadness into the same suitcase to ship it off—destination unknown. Embrace your feelings; hold ‘missing’ and ‘empty’ and ‘regret’ until they feel better, and take off. Do not falter, do not go back. Just breathe it in until it’s over.
If they magically reach out again, you need to tell them pretty little lies carefully composed with subtle hate and dryness. For example: ‘I’ve been busy lately,’ and, ‘school has been an asshole’. Play your cards right and they will not come back. Continue this pattern no matter how much it hurts. This will be better in the end; there will be profit.
Step 4) Relearn. Rebuild. (Regrets). Remake.
Relearn yourself. Take all the pieces and footprints they left behind and gently carve them out; make a new you. You are no longer their other half, for you are brand new and not a piece of them. Pick up new hobbies. Change your vocabulary and catchphrases. Mould yourself into a different shape so you are unrecognizable when they catch a glimpse of you. Change your clothes and aesthetics. You are something else now.
Try not to think too hard about the past. Focus on the future—your future. Do not focus on theirs, and be patient. Time will pass. You will be okay.
When the night and regrets sink in; when you remember how you bought your own self-destruction, antagonize them. They are the villain, not you. They fucked up, not you. Exaggerate every fault of theirs while simultaneously downplaying their successes. You are the victim in this story. Ignore how the other part of you screams that you are thinking unclearly. This is the right way. This is the only way.
I promise you, after all of this, you will feel safe. All of the heartaches will fall away, and you will be alright. All the nasty thoughts will slip away; out of mind, out of sight. You will be okay as long as you push them away.