Introduction
In October 2024, I was diagnosed with high-functioning borderline personality disorder. Since then, I’ve begun reflecting on behaviours I exhibited throughout my teenage years that may align with this diagnosis. I often gauged my future “luck” and happiness by noting arbitrary occurrences throughout my day, like a spilled glass of milk or whether or not the deli worker had a poppy seed bagel for my bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Until now, a major obstacle that has prevented others from contextualizing this thought process has been my inability to explain it due to its very abstract nature; in general, there exists an inherent inability for others to quantify my emotional state due to the elusive nature of my disorder.
In order to encourage a more methodical and digestible approach to the inner workings of a person with high-functioning BPD, I have created an index based on an increase or decrease of my happiness score after a certain arbitrary event, as well as an overall increase or decrease in luckiness after a lucky or unlucky occurrence. This system is loosely based on the systemic organization of classic 80s RPGs such as the Final Fantasy and Baldur’s Gate series, in which collecting an item or defending yourself against a boss character increases your character’s personal and physical merits.
This document is a starting point for those who are interested in exploring the inner workings of my mind (albeit without being intrusive about it) or those who are interested in the almost contradictory interplay between an emotionally charged disorder and quantifiable boundaries of that said emotion.
About this Guide
This document is divided into two sections that illustrate both sides of a binary spectrum:
- Section A: Arbitrary events that will decrease overall mood and luckiness
- Section B: Arbitrary events that will increase overall mood and luckiness
In addition to this, subsections will be utilized to detail a scale of increased or decreased happiness and luckiness, ranging from low to high:
- Section A: Arbitrary events that will decrease overall mood and luckiness
- Section A-1: Events that predict a low decrease
- Section A-2: Events that predict a moderate decrease
- Section A-3: Events that predict a catastrophic decrease
- Section B: Arbitrary events that will increase overall mood and luckiness
- Section B-1: Events that predict a low increase
- Section B-2: Events that predict a moderate increase
- Section B-3: Events that predict a week/life-changing increase
For each subsection:
Happiness statuses are to be measured from a scale of 1-5 in .5 intervals; from a low increase or decrease in happiness to high.
±1 . ±2 . ±3 . ±4 . ±5
The Luckiness Scale ranges from +3 to -3, with 0 set as the baseline quantifier of luckiness at the beginning of the day. Note that perceived luckiness is reported as a range instead of a number, as it is harder to quantify:
-3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3
Section A-1
Events that predict a low decrease in overall mood and happiness
- Occurrences that are often mild nuisances that have no lasting consequences; can be forgotten within the span of mere minutes.
- Do not involve the deprivation of human needs.
- Differ from Section A-2 and A-3 because the use of outward emotional responses is deemed as dramatic and unnecessary.
Examples:
- Brushing up against someone in the subway (Note 1)
- Fumbling around for a specific item you know is in your bag for a little too long
- Forgetting to close a cabinet or fridge door periodically
- Dropping the soap in the shower
Happiness Status: -0.5
Luckiness Scale Interval: -0.7 to -1.2
Section A-2
Events that predict a moderate decrease in overall mood and happiness
- Predict a moderately traumatizing level of healing time due to lasting consequences. Moderate outward exhibition of emotional responses (ie. sighs or brow furrowing) are acceptable.
- Directly infringe upon immediate needs and require more elaborate and sometimes more inaccessible solutions compared to examples in Section 1-A. Can only be partially resolved at the moment.
- Although moderate nuisances, A-2 occurrences often contain alternate resolutions that one can logically come up with.
Examples:
- The printer is not working the day of a school presentation
- Airpods (or other bluetooth devices) losing battery before your favorite song
- Stains on light colored clothing
Happiness Status: -2.5
Luckiness Scale Interval: -1.5 to -2.3
Section A-3
Events that predict a catastrophic decrease in overall mood and happiness
- Events that are extremely distressing and seemingly have indefinite healing times.
- Directly and catastrophically infringe upon immediate human needs and require immediate intervention for fear of causing lasting damage.
- Unlike both A-2 and A-1 nuisances, A-3 events cannot and should not be resolved by a singular individual with a lack of expertise on serious matters. (Note 2)
Examples:
- Dismantlement of a long-term relationship (exceeding 2 years)
- Physically debilitating car accident
- Encountering an incurable disease
Happiness Status: -5
Luckiness Scale Interval: -2.5 to﹤-3
Section B-1
Events that predict a minimal increase in overall mood and happiness
- Events that are by no means life-changing, but have positive effects that are short-lived and can be forgotten within minutes.
- Do not involve the fulfillment of essential needs or desires, but provide a minor uplift or convenience.
- Are often small events of chance that appeal to one’s larger desires, and are taken as symbols of a broader, more positive message.
Examples:
- Drawing your favourite flavour of candy from a bag of mixed flavours
- Receiving a lucky coin in your change
- Finding a small item/trinket you thought you lost
- Your phone being charged when you thought it wasn’t
Happiness Status: +1.5
Luckiness Scale Interval: +0.4 to +1.3
Section B-2
Events that predict a moderate increase in overall mood and happiness
- Result in moderate spikes of happiness due to a more substantial increase in positivity levels.
- B-2 events often involve human interaction and encountering kindness within the broader public atmosphere. Thus, demonstrations of positive reactions (i.e., expressing gratitude or smiling) are often encouraged.
- Unlike B-1 events, B-2 events indirectly appeal to human needs through the means of positive human communication, and have a direct impact on how you perceive people or people perceive you.
Examples:
- The barista giving you a coffee for free
- Your neighbour offering to mow your lawn
- You are early to every important meeting during your day job
Happiness Status: +3.5
Luckiness Scale Interval: +1.4 to +2.3
Section B-3
Events that predict a life-changing increase in overall mood and happiness
- A direct appeal to a human need that is ultimately life-changing and will alter the course of events for up to several years.
- Immense rarities and do not occur often (at least I hope). (Note 3)
- Some B-3 events can be categorized as B-2 events given the modern-day corporate landscape, but are nevertheless life-changing in the broader scheme of things.
Examples:
- Securing a job that pays significantly more than your last
- Winning the lottery
Happiness Status: +5
Luckiness Scale Interval: +2.5 to >+3
Notes
- May be categorized under Section A-2 under the circumstance that the person you brushed up against will respond to your mistake with profanity or physical violence. Sorry!
- Note that A-3 nuisances are rather rare because many events of the permanently destructive nature are not arbitrary and simply due to chance. However, there remain several exceptions.
- Like A-3 events, B-3 events are rather rare because many events of the permanently life-changing nature are not arbitrary and simply due to chance. However, there remain several exceptions.